Break Up
When you decide to end a relationship, everything may seem confusing and exhausting. It is not easy to learn to live your life without your partner and focus on yourself and your needs again. To move forward in a positive direction, you need to mentally and emotionally prepare yourself for the adjustment period right after your breakup. This period can be very challenging and overwhelming, as you may think about everything that went wrong, and how your relationship gradually changed for the worse. It can be an emotional roller coaster ride, and if you are not careful, you may end up spending a huge amount of energy on negative thoughts and actions in response to the break up.
The emotional pain of a break up can be excruciating, but grieving is what sets you free from the relationship that you’ve idealised in your head. The important things to remember are that there are people there for you, and that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel and ways to help you get there. You have to understand that getting over a break up seems unachieveable but it’s just about the matter of time. Being proactive in general and working on yourself is really important when you decide to move on, because you need to listen to your own needs to find the road to peace and happiness again.
Rediscover who you are. Give yourself permission to look forward to something exciting. Chances are, you lost a piece of yourself in the relationship. Maybe you let go of a hobby you used to love to do, maybe you stop listening to your favourite music band or taking long walks. There are a lot of personal things that made you special, you just have to find them again in order to get the positive feelings back. Enjoy your own company, make yourself a nice dinner, a scented bath, remember that we don't need to always look outside for fulfillment; it can be found within.
Do whatever you can to focus on self-love. Only when you practice self love and compassion you are able to restore your self-esteem. Socialise, don’t isolate yourself. Try to find people working on the same type of personal growth you are interested in. Remember that when a relationship fails, it also makes you stronger and wiser. There is nothing holding you back from becoming the person that you want to become. Avoid wasting your time thinking about how you could resolve all the problems in your failed relationship, or how much time you lost in the relationship, just forgive yourself and use your spare time to meditate to calm your mind. Look for the lessons you’ve learned from it, and do not focus on how long you have been unhappy. Keep your sights set on what you are creating for your future. Remember that it's impossible to get through a human life without any regrets, but you do not need to blame yourself for something that is not meant to be.
The healing of the human heart is a long process, and focusing on yourself is vital to move forward. There will be days when your thoughts will be all over the place. You might find yourself unable to remember things. You might forget something important, feel lost and disorganised most of the time. Realise you're going through a hard time and don’t blame yourself for being less than perfect. Try to put some reminders in place, write things down, keep your schedule light. Be gentle with yourself. All you need is to find something that you love, that loves you back. We all have something we love doing that sets us free and pleases us beyond measure. Maybe it’s yoga, walking, writing, painting, beading, journaling, whatever it is, do it a little bit every day, not as a distraction, but as part of your prescription of self love and care. The time after a break up is the time in your life to explore the real you, to embrace your feelings and your individuality. Take time to improve your relationship with yourself, and remind yourself that, by taking time, you are not missing out on the love of your life, you are discovering your love of life again. That’s a step that must be taken before that person can enter your life.
You may have lots of ups and downs, and feel many conflicting emotions when a relationship ends, so it is a good idea to prepare yourself with ways to get through your low moments. Do not mistake the amount of pain you feel for the amount of love you had for that person. Your level of pain has to do with your own sensitivity, and it is is normal and healthy even if it feels like it is not. At some point, you will have to understand that you must forget what you feel, and remember what you deserve.
