Depression and Spirituality
I completely empathize if you are on edge right now and want to give up – I’ve been there before . But give me a chance and hear my experience on how you can lift yourself out of this devilish state. Nothing cuts deeper to someone with depression, than when their serious condition is trivialized by another who doesn’t understand it.
When you are deeply depressed, you may not feel like doing much of anything or being with anyone. Don't assume you will be able to leap out of depression and turn your life around immediately. Start with some very small, detailed, specific goals.
I had a very happy childhood, I’ve always been very close to my parents. My father had been married once before marrying my mother, and had 2 children with his first wife ( my sister and brother’s mum) , but my father’s first wife left my dad and ran away with another man, leaving her family behind. I can only imagine how hard it was for my dad to get over such a severe heartbreak, but he was lucky to meet my mum and start a new life.
I've always admired my father for being such a wise, well-grounded person after experiencing so many lows in his life. He had a difficult childhood, many losses along the way, his first marriage failed and left him heartbroken, but he still managed to be so kind and wonderful to be around. We used to have long talks and I really miss him and his advice, in every single decision I need to make.
My mum was also very inspirational. She married my dad, accepted him and his children, and helped him raise my half brother and sister with love and respect. By the time I arrived, my half sister and brother were already married so I was raised as an only child.
I am sharing this with you, so you can understand better how hard it was for me when both my parents passed away. It felt like I lost everything. The two people I loved and admired the most in life were gone. I had a very deep connection with both of them, and when I had the news saying they were murdered, I couldn’t understand how someone could hurt them, the most amazing people I’ve been blessed to know. I went through a very deep dark phase. I felt angry to think why do such cruelty could happen to good and innocent people, I blamed myself for not being there, I felt like life lost it’s purpose.
Before my experience with major depression, I was pretty optimistic with a strong sense of accomplishment. I believed in my ability to achieve but for one decade (after my depression), it felt impossible regaining this sense within me.
Sometimes depression can leave us feeling that the world would be a better place without us in it, I understand that, but that’s not true; the world would actually be a better place if more people simply understood us.
It took me 10 years to finally be in a better place. In a place that I can talk about it, and try to encourage more people to understand about depression, to find their spirituality and understand they are not alone. Spirituality, in my opinion, is really about finding the essential self.
Spirituality is that space that allows us to just be and be ok with who we are. It negates any attempt to be what the society wants us to be.
It took me time to recognise my spirituality and find the meaning for my life, and make the changes to what was causing me to be feeling down. So, take your time, understand that you are not alone, and day by day, take some time to know yourself. We face overwhelming feelings or problems often because of what we expect out of life and of ourselves. These expectations drive us further and further away from who we are. The further we go, the more removed we become from our essence. When we feel overwhelmed by these expectations of life which we can not cope with, we feel low, stuck and lost.
Depression has some really nasty things to say sometimes. Try and tune that mean voice out and remember that you are worth it. You really are.
Soon, this mean thoughts will be replaced by more positive thoughts. So keep holding on. Allow for imperfections. You're not perfect. I'm not perfect. NO ONE is perfect.
Your life has a purpose, Listen to your inner voice. It takes practice to hear your true desires. Your passion will often come as a whisper or serendipitous event that reminds you of what's important and what makes you happy.
Spirituality helps to give our lives context. It's not necessarily connected to a specific belief system or even religious worship. Instead, it arises from your connection with yourself and with others, the development of your personal value system, and your search for meaning in life.