Living Without Regret
Regretting choices we’ve made can steal our spiritual thunder. The good news is that regret can be turned into a positive force for change. Regret is the perfect mirror to show us what we did wrong – in what ways our actions went against our core values. And when we realise what we want to change from the past, we can use that information to behave more appropriately in the future.
Regret is all about choices. Sometimes we make the wrong choice. At other times we make no choice at all. In either instance, the results are negative because our core values are being ignored. Regret is our core values nudging us to be heard.
Respecting the past and not regretting it is equally as important as respecting the future and not fretting about it. When we regret our past actions, or when we deny responsibility for them, or the outcome of them, we are suffering. When we blame someone else for our woes, like a boomerang the hurt flies back to us. While we are regretting and blaming and denying what has been done, we are trapped in the eternal circle of suffering.
Let go of blame, and denial. Realise that everyone feels pain, and take some time to lessen, by however small a portion, the suffering of another.
It is difficult for us to move on in life. We believe it is because we would be leaving things behind. Sometimes we feel it would be selfish and we feel guilty, because we were not able to “fix” things enough to bring them along on our new journey. We stay way to long in one place, because it feels safe. We know what is going to happen and even though it may be unpleasant, we know the ending and that brings a false sense of comfort. It is difficult to move out of our comfort zone. That fear to move out of our comfort zone is what keeps us regretting our past, as it keeps us living it over and over again.
"One of the greatest spiritual acts of love is to walk away from recrimination and remorse and to accept, in its place, love and your own self-worth.” Meredith Young-Sowers