Looking Backwards After A Breakup
What good can possibly come out of a break-up? To be honest, everyone knows break-ups are just horrible. It usually take some time for our minds to catch up with reality and accept that the relationship has ended. We get to a point that we look back, and we question ourselves why we stayed for so long in a relationship that was failing, and if the pain we went through during the breakup was worth it. The truth is that ending a relationship is never easy, even when you know it's the right thing to do. But, as with everything in life, it’s always possible to look for the positives, or at least the lessons you’ve learnt.
Each relationship that we have in life is a key part of us getting better as person, to become wiser and emotionally stronger. Dealing with a break up requires immense strength from us. I recently went through a breakup, and through this process I discovered the power of positivity and acceptance. I went through terrible pain, at one point I doubt my own ability to let go. I was desperate trying to find the way to suppress feelings of disappointment and sadness that stuck with me for a long time, and I was torturing myself with my own thoughts in order to let go of those feelings. I could only focus on the negative outcome of the breakup such as loneliness, distress, and a loss of self or sense of who I was as a person. After a while, I tried to purposefully focus on the positive aspects of my experience and it led to minimise negative emotions. I’ve learned that it’s important to create intentional space and let yourself grieve the end of the relationship. After several months I feel that I can finally be grateful for the experience and I can look back at things from a emotionally healthy perspective.
A positively focused mind can help us who have recently experienced break-up, to take a new perspective and reinterpret the break-up in beneficial ways. Everything changes when you understand and believe there is a reason why this is all happening, and trust that it’s for the best. When I adopted this point of view, I suddenly I found myself not worrying about the fact that the relationship had ended. Instead, I was worrying about the way I was living each day. I embraced the present moment, and let go of being a victim. I’ve put all my energy to commit each morning to fully accept what was happening in the now. If you are going through a breakup, you need to understand that the only person who can help you, is yourself. The answer to move on and live a better life is inside yourself. I know how difficult it is to try to control your own thoughts, to stop the crying, to find happiness in your present moment, but if you keep focusing on the negative aspects of the breakup, you will be stuck in a circle of negativity.
I’ve come to learn that there is no one single effective method to deal with a break up. Some people might say that love is not worth it, and that you will always get hurt. I agree that not all relationships are going to be successful. I believe that some couples aren’t compatible or don’t have the right mindsets. But I do think that each relationship teaches us a lesson, and help us to become more mature and wiser. Looking back after a breakup from a positive perspective requires a lot of strength, patience, determination, hope, and self-esteem.
When we experience the pain of the end of a relationship, our view on love usually change, and what we thought we knew about heartbreak also alter. The way we saw relationships before become very different from how we see them now. The way I see things now, is that all the emotions we go through during a breakup presents us with an opportunity to identify and investigate what really needs changing in our lives. It gives us the chance to actually change it because it signifies a new beginning. Most of us lose a part of ourselves in an unhealthy relationship, and a failed relationship teaches us about who we are, and what is important to us in life. We need to acknowledge that a breakup is a sign that that there is an issue to resolve. When we choose to use our past experiences as lessons, and we take the time to work on ourselves, we become more resilient and able to cope better with whatever life throws at us. Changing our focus allows us to find happiness within ourselves and concentrate on those things that can bring us back to our essence. Accepting what happened in our past, forgiving ourselves and the other person, and letting go of any regret we may carry, is the best way to deal with complicated emotions, and bring peace to our hearts. It may be difficult to see things clearly when we feel hurt and heartbroken, but getting to experience the pain of a breakup is a miracle worker for our own self-improvement.
I’ve learned from my past mistakes, and I believe that with every mistake I’ve made, I have also made a step forward in my personal development. I am a different person now because I was able to learn and grow from what I’ve experienced in life. When you go through a breakup, no matter how good or bad your relationship really was, you will learn a lot about yourself, and will also learn what gives you purpose. Remember that when something ends, you have 3 choices: you can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or let it strengthen you. Choose to be strong and positive, because you will see that after this excruciating time, there will be nothing left to fear: because you’ve made it.