Regrets
Regrets represents our negative memories. The word regret comes from the Old French word ‘regretter’ which means “bewail the deadâ€. When we regret something, we blame ourselves for things that happened. Living with regret can take a toll on your reputation, relationships, and your work or professional life. Negative memories makes you feel uncomfortable, and stop yourself from moving on to better relationships and outcomes.
Re-thinking past decisions and regretting them can cause anxiety. We shouldn’t let regret weigh us down and drain our energy, because doing this, may lead to worrying about future decisions that we might regret later. I’ve learned that often the consequences of our actions or inactions only become clear as time passes. As we get older, we acknowledge that we’ve screwed up, that we’ve either damaged something beyond repair or missed an opportunity, but if we get stuck on a past mistake, regret or disappointment, we can damage our current mental and physical health.
We need to use all the pain from our past mistakes to refocus and take the best action in order to pursue a new path in life. Instead of beating ourselves up, we need to reach for a better, kinder thought in order to forgive ourselves, and let go of the painful burdens that interfere with our present happiness, cause us grief, and restrict our future.
It is important for us to recognise that every new day is also a new opportunity to change our future. Negative thoughts can make us feel powerless, thinking that we are not able to change the situation, and that’s when regret can turn into rumination and chronic stress that damages mind and body. Adopt a positive perspective and every time you catch yourself thinking about something you regret, discard that thought, rip it up, burn it.
Remember that achieving and sustaining happiness and peace is only possible when you consciously stop torturing yourself for the rest of your life because you feel like you deserve it. Suffering is something very easy to achieve, but emancipating yourself from guilt, isn’t; it requires learning something new from the situation, so that the negative aspect of it becomes a positive.
When you are haunted by past regrets, stop for a moment and close your eyes. Pretend it never happened, and ask for spiritual guidance, pray for the Higher Power to lead you to make better choices in the future. Breathe and declare yourself free. Do it everyday until it becomes a new habit. It’s normal to find yourself slipping back into unhelpful thoughts, but try to keep in mind that regret has a purpose, it allows you to move forward with extra knowledge.
Every day we have many choices to be made, obsessing or ruminating over regrets can bring depression and anxiety to our lives, so choose to re-channel that energy by finding something positive and meaningful to do, like traveling, making new friends, learning something new. Our brains rationalise most of the things we do wrong, but the biggest regret we may have later in life is all the time we wasted on pointless worrying. Spend less time on your fears and more time thinking about what it is you do want to do in your life.
Maybe you've had some great opportunities in your life that you never took advantage of because you were too scared, too depressed, or didn't recognise them for what they were. But so what? You will find and create new opportunities. Accept what has happened in the past and move on. Enjoy what you have in your life, and remember that you have learned a lot from your past, and you are worthy of a bright future.
