Disappointment

Disappointment as a form of sadness, a feeling of loss, an uncomfortable gap between our expectations and reality. It is a tricky emotion to deal with because every day can bring about new situations to be disappointed over. Sometimes disappointments come at small doses. Sometimes disappointments are truly huge and life changing. Idealisation and disillusionment are normal and we need to be compassionate to ourselves when we deal with those situations that are likely to make us feel disappointed, in order to train our brain to tame our reaction to these events. Self awareness is necessary to manage our emotions effectively, because when someone breaks our heart, we suffer. The only thing we can do is to learn from the experience in order not to lose our identity, and also check if our expectations were unreasonable. When we adjust our expectations, we are able to reduce the amount of disappointment and negative emotions.

 

The more we can learn to frame in a way that's constructive and positive while still being honest, the better we are able to process disappointment. While disappointment feels very personal, if we could detach our feelings from the situation, sometimes we are able to see what happened from a different perspective, and understand that the fact that we were let down by someone, doesn't necessarily reflects how the other person feels about us, but it is a reflection of what this person is dealing with in his/her life.

   

We need to learn to lower feelings of frustration when a situation isn't going the way we expect. In order to avoid feeling disappointed, we need to understand that there are no random acts, there is always meaning to everything that happens in our lives, even if we do not see it. When we have high expectations we need to keep in mind that there is no way all our expectations will be met. We need to know what we expect from others, and communicate in a way to also let others know what we expect from them. Sometimes, we assume that the other person know how we want them to behave, and this is very unrealistic. It is important to keep our expectation in check because we usually carry others expectations to our life, or we have dated expectations, that don't reflect our true selves in the present moment anymore. 

When you experience disappointment:

-Find things to do every day that keep you calmer so that you don't feel it is the end of the world every time you are sad by an outcome. 

-Give yourself some time to experience your emotional reaction to this disappointment. Don't act on your emotions, just allow yourself to experience your emotional reaction, because it can offer you great insight into how much something means to you. 

-Learn to set clear, timely expectations for people in your life, and remember to practicing self-awareness and acceptance, rather than expecting perfection.

The secret to dealing with disappointment is to not let it grow into stronger emotions like discouragement and depression. Learn that everything in your journey has a purpose, and it may not be very clear now, but in the future, you will be able to see the big picture. If you're suffering a lot because someone let you down, it's important to practice some self care. Anger, resentment, and sadness can take away your hope for a better tomorrow, so release negative feelings by doing things that you enjoy and treating yourself with respect and love.